Sunday Morning.

It was one of these noons in which the sunlight is streaming through the windows, directly into your eyes and burning your pupils even with them closed. The first thing I remember right after waking up, even before opening my eyes, was the bitter taste in my mouth of the alcohol I drank last night, that was mixed with a really deep smell of smoke, just like the crowded bars I use to frequent back in the old days. I was covered in an almost sticky sweat, my head was about to explode, and my mouth was drier than desert. I was alive… once again. The alcohol didn’t fixed anything, but at least it made me forget the question, and made my soul rest for a while.

Then after a few seconds, I made an effort and I opened my eyes. I felt the presence of someone in the room, I turned my head to the left and there she was. 

Life was sitting in my chair, next to my face in the bed. She was as pretty as always, and still kept that bitchy smile and that unstable look that I have always remembered. She was looking directly at me, and her eyes burned my skin with their wildness. Her face was a reflection of herself, heaven and hell fighting in harmony to create perfection. her lips resembled sharp edges painted in fresh blood, and her hair has the color of the eternal fire, fed with our sins, and expecting our time to arrive, wishing to burn our flesh in that holy bonfire. 

-Does it feel like dying? –She suddenly asked.

-Not still. –I answered still asleep, not believing what I was seeing again.

-Good, cause you are going to try some more. –Said she, while biting her lip.

-At first it was painful, now... it just feels blue, like an empty whole inside of me.

-But the scars will last forever. -She said.

-I know, they always do... I've been there before, but one day the shadows will just fade away, and become nothing but ghosts of the past.

There was a disturbing silence.

-What if not? –Asked her with a malevolent smile on her face.

-You has always been a god damn whore, did you know it? –I said looking her directly into her eyes.

-Of course, didn't you realize that before?

- I guess I've always known that. –I answered not very convinced.

- So, what did you expected?

- I don't know... I just thought this time would be different; I had something inside of me shouting that this one was the right one.

- That's my job darling, taking you back to reality. 

She bent down into the bed and kissed me into the forehead.

-I hate you motherfucking bitch. -I shouted at her.

-That’s what you all say, but without me you won't be alive… -She said still with a smile on her face- I'm glad to see u again, I have to go now, but we will meet again soon. Sooner than you think.

After that I fell asleep again, I woke up almost at night. I cannot remember exactly what had happen before in the noon, I was not sure if that had really happened or it was just a dream. The only thing I knew for sure was that it was another Sunday, in which I swore to myself I would change my life.

 Txus.